Taylor-Jayne encouraged me to use better vocabulary as I write so that it sounds more collegiate. She also suggested in the second paragraph of my 3rd article I should take out some of the summarizing and add it to the paragraph above. Lastly, she suggested I change the numbers in my paper and make them into words.
Brandon agreed that I needed better vocabulary and that it would make my paper less personable which is what he need for our final paper. Brandon liked my quotes and said they were good support for my topic.
Rhett thought my topic was interesting and I had a good basis to start out with. He said I introduced my topic well. Rhett helped with grammatical errors that I had.
Jared thought I had interesting quotes that related to my topic but also raised ideas and questions. He said I had a good start to my paper and the path I was taking with learning styles was interesting. He also liked the fact that I had different views from different authors about the kinesthetic learners.
The most helpful piece of advice I received was to focus on the summary and analysis parts of my paper and make sure they're not saying the same thing. I will probably have to move some stuff from the analysis paragraph into the summary paragraph so that I'm not being repetitive.
The least helpful piece of advice I received was corrections on my grammar. While I value these suggestions, I would rather have help in areas dealing with summary, analysis of the authors point, and setting up my paper.
I plan to correct all the grammar that went wrong in my paper while at the same time adding better vocabulary. I plan on moving some sentences from every analysis paragraph into the summary paragraphs and combining the alike ones so that I'm not being repetitive. I will spell out numbers in the paper when I revise.
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